Monday, December 18, 2006

Christmas letter 2006

The Howlidays are here??? Arrrrooooooo…….. What have Max and I been through this year? Tons as I will now orate.

We got to go on a family vacation which was snowmobiling in February for a week in Canada. The snow is so much deeper like 5 feet and the temperatures hover anywhere from 10 to 30 below 0 fahrenheit. We love to play in snow because we never get any back home in Michigan. No, we weren’t allowed on the snowmachines. Pout…

February was also the month Mom and Dad offered up our home to anyone who wanted to buy it. They promised us a bigger place with a large yard for us to run around in. So for 4 weeks, poor Max and I got intruders being nosy in our house. They would pet us and ask if we came with the house. Growl….. Of six viewings, mom and dad were happy that three put offers down and the house sold at asking price. We were so sad to say goodbye to our picture window with a view of a busy street. Now, we just howl and bark in the middle of the night to go out and chase deers, rabbits, groundhogs and skunks. Max loves the skunks most and I can’t count how many times he’s been sprayed. Even after three skunk baths in a row, he still smells and it lingers for months. So the corollary here must be, if it smells like a skunk, it’s a skunk. Hey Stinky, I’m telling them what you are.

Our old house was nice and quiet. Mom and Dad had finished remodeling it and everything had a place. Well, not this new one. We don’t even have a kitchen now. Dad gave away the cupboards and stove on ebay. He’s going to be jackhammering the concrete floor next to move pipes. Me and Max are going to be deaf soon like Mom. Hell, I already have selective hearing when I don’t want to come inside. The people in this hood don’t have chain link fences like the old one. Instead you get a collar put on you with a black box that scares would-be fleas off of me if I go too close to the road. I have seen a black lab, newfoundland, husky and 2 saint bernards all wearing the same collar. On my walk, all they can do is howl at me from their yards that they want to play. And you know what, it’s discrimination against dogs! I never see the any of the cats wearing these shock boxes and they come and go as they please. Wimpy Max stays in the house rather than wear one. These things send him sailing three feet in the air when he hits the line.

The parental units did abandon us for 10 days in June. They said something about seeing Rio, some large waterfalls called Iguazu and the Amazon River. Heck, if they stayed home I could have peed them a nice waterfall onto the Holly out front. I even do it on Max’s head when he gets in the way. While they were away, they managed to also see the border towns in Argentina and Paraguay. Apparently there are no leash laws in those countries and people take their dogs walking everywhere. Will you help me start a fund and call it Scout, expat shiba of Brasil. I don’t think baby Max will agree to leave Mom’s side which is fine by me.

In October, Mom and Dad predictably did what they’re good at. They went away and left us for 5 days. They went across the big pond to see Dad’s side of the family in London. Grandpa went with them so he could spend time with his brother. I hear they saw Tower of London, Big Ben, Stonehenge, a castle and Harrod’s the department store among other things. They even had good home cooking every day with the extended family including indian cuisine and raclette I googled this (while Mom was at work) to know what table scraps we were robbed of. While they were abroad, we had our new dog walker, Aunty Doris, walking us in the middle of the day as well as cousin Lynn at night. She even feeds us yummy holistic food which is both wet and dry supplemented with lots of treats. So far, we haven’t gained weight, run away in protest nor gotten nice and sick on all the carpet in our new abode.

For Christmas, all we want from you is lots of visits at our new pad. I know I deserve to be petted, treated and walked more. (No, I haven’t tripped anyone this year) So y’all take a note of our new address and we’ll be pawing you real soon.

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