We are from Hell....

Today, Max and I went for a ride.... It was the last indian summer weekend of the year Mom said. It was a long drive and our slaves didn't quite know how to find the town they were looking for. A place called Hell, Michigan.

When we got there, they had haystacks to pee on, a golf course called Gulf and lots of people on loud bikes wanting to pet your royal highness, myself. When Daddy insisted on taking my picture with this cutout, I'm not sure why. Mom said you guys will empathize. Max conquered the Great
Pumpkin and posed with it.

25 Reasons your dog might be a Shiba Inu....

25 Reasons you might own a shiba….

Your dog resembles a fox and has a tightly curled cinnamon bun tail…

Your dog has it backwards and thinks he/she is God and not a Dog…..

Your dog has the personality of a cat and acts aloof until you bring him offerings…

Your dog thinks he/she is smarter than you and is only tolerating you as a slave…

Your dog is like royalty, wants his subjects close enough to serve but not too close as to sully his royal highness.

Your dog would be a charming serial killer or dictator of a country if a person….

Your dog is also like a catholic priest that can guilt you into doing anything….

Your dog thinks you should be obedient to him/her and not the other way around…

Your dog can leap tall fences in a single bound and get doors open to go to hell faster…

Your dog doesn’t ever wag his tail because it is a display of emotion to please….

Your dog will not eliminate in a mile wide radius around your home to force walks since he thinks his waste is gold to be deposited carefully….

Your dog makes you feel like it is a privilege to live in your own home with him/her…

Your dog will manage to siphon your sitting spot until you fall off the chair or couch…

Your dog looks at you with a sly smile and a “screw you” look if ever loose, then bolts…

Your dog sheds entire coats for months as if it lives in a tropical climate….

Your dog has selective hearing for only treats/walks/grandma…..

Your dog makes you feel guilty for eating meals in front of him/her….

Your dog wears a crown of entitlement and expects worship, not affection….

Your dog can unearth and eat all the chocolate in a pile of presents in 10 minutes flat…

Your dog can destruct stuffed animals, shoes and gardening gloves just because…

Your dog can obey commands fine from every expensive trainer that makes housecalls…

Your dog acts as if he/she is devising strategies to defeat you while you are at work….

Your dog is a drama queen being murdered whenever he/she meets the dog groomer…

Your dog has a vocal range of an opera singer all the way up to a bloodcurdling scream…

Your dog has made you utterly and absolutely besotted with all things Shiba!

Shiba, the Drain Commissioner

My dog thinks he's a drain commissioner....

He helps participate in soil erosion damage by digging furiously when sump pumps kick on during rainy periods.... Nothing excites Scout more than when his digging compels pumps to come on gushing a river of water for his reward. Scout must think in his head that he is turning them on and off through his psychic powers... He monitors and approves drainage in new developments, subdivisions and drainage ditches in times of heavy rainfall. Maybe someday I'll capture Scout on video doing his rounds if he hasn't caused me to lose my camera chasing him to the pots of gold.

It's highly possible he wants to join Sable, a nearby German Shepherd who is the only dog known to detect illicit and failing septic connections that flow from homes into rivers and streams. Sable wears a fluorescent green vest when he's working, identifying him as a "Sewage Sniffing K-9," as part of the company Tetra Tech's "Illicit Discharge Detection Unit."

Owners should be aware that drainage water often is a breeding ground for mosquitos and other bacteria so be sure and make your human keep you up to date on your heartworm & vaccinations.

Shiba on Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks!!!

Hey everyone! Did you see Sparky on David Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks (3/10/09)?? I was soooo proud of him and Letterman kept talking about him afterwards with all the guests... We shibas are just that notorious Now if only i could get Mom to use my prowess to get me on with Mario's Pet Star. More money for more food, yesssss!

And a Happy New Year too!!!

What a day! Not only had Mom been home all week but at first I was skeptical.... More people had come to visit me as well. And they came bearing rawhides, bacon strips and big hunks of meat. Much festivities ensued while the food laid on the counters, in the ovens and in warming drawers for hours. I kept guard over the kitchen and its goodies. See me to the right?

Would I get to share in this feast the humans were partaking in??? Why were they so preoccupied with tearing boxes open for things to wear? That was not my problem as long as I had my exquisite fur on my back. Nor did I need mugs to drink out of nor utensils to ration food to my ever waiting mouth. No towels for me, the shake dry method works every time. Would you like to see what I stared at? It was honeybaked, spiral cut and pre-cooked. It had been ready for days and calling my name over and over. What were they waiting for? Do you blame me at all?

First we had to go for a long walk to start the day. Then mom and her brother had to go visit my 98 year old great grandma to give her socks! Socks I tell you... But she was very happy for the get-together and had no idea I was being a gentledog at home, not jumping on the counter, yodeling or otherwise obnoxious. Then once they got back, they gave each other silly boxes next to this tree that was decorated to honor some baby I never met born thousands of years ago. Not only was the ham on this counter, but there was 2 kinds of potatoes, green beans and apple salad. I had to also listen to Grandpa give Dad an article about Slentrol for dogs who need to lose weight. I was pretty sure they were referring to my little brother. He can't keep up with me on walks, not me, nope. They did give me and Max our gifts of treats to eat. But you sure know I was ready for the Big Kahuna of meals....

Once the gifts were opened, they proceeded to drink an egg drink with nutmeg. Were they out of their minds??? It had been about 4 or 5 hours by that point. I sitting in a puddle of drool being the most patient of saints. Years from now, dogs will refer to me as o holy one, Scout. Finally everyone sat down to a meal and then do you know what happened to me??? Dad put me in the hallway and shut the door. Why? I sat there and pondered and waited to see if the door would open on its own. Pushed it a few times. Finally, I wailed out and the door opened enough that I could run through and hide under the table. Max was napping at their feet, the idiot. Finally they dished some food into our bowls once they were done. And this is how bushed I looked after all that wait and the eternal reward? I hope it was a good day for all of you dogs and your parents too! Happy 2009!!!

From yours truly, Scout