Monday, December 18, 2006

Christmas letter 2006

The Howlidays are here??? Arrrrooooooo…….. What have Max and I been through this year? Tons as I will now orate.

We got to go on a family vacation which was snowmobiling in February for a week in Canada. The snow is so much deeper like 5 feet and the temperatures hover anywhere from 10 to 30 below 0 fahrenheit. We love to play in snow because we never get any back home in Michigan. No, we weren’t allowed on the snowmachines. Pout…

February was also the month Mom and Dad offered up our home to anyone who wanted to buy it. They promised us a bigger place with a large yard for us to run around in. So for 4 weeks, poor Max and I got intruders being nosy in our house. They would pet us and ask if we came with the house. Growl….. Of six viewings, mom and dad were happy that three put offers down and the house sold at asking price. We were so sad to say goodbye to our picture window with a view of a busy street. Now, we just howl and bark in the middle of the night to go out and chase deers, rabbits, groundhogs and skunks. Max loves the skunks most and I can’t count how many times he’s been sprayed. Even after three skunk baths in a row, he still smells and it lingers for months. So the corollary here must be, if it smells like a skunk, it’s a skunk. Hey Stinky, I’m telling them what you are.

Our old house was nice and quiet. Mom and Dad had finished remodeling it and everything had a place. Well, not this new one. We don’t even have a kitchen now. Dad gave away the cupboards and stove on ebay. He’s going to be jackhammering the concrete floor next to move pipes. Me and Max are going to be deaf soon like Mom. Hell, I already have selective hearing when I don’t want to come inside. The people in this hood don’t have chain link fences like the old one. Instead you get a collar put on you with a black box that scares would-be fleas off of me if I go too close to the road. I have seen a black lab, newfoundland, husky and 2 saint bernards all wearing the same collar. On my walk, all they can do is howl at me from their yards that they want to play. And you know what, it’s discrimination against dogs! I never see the any of the cats wearing these shock boxes and they come and go as they please. Wimpy Max stays in the house rather than wear one. These things send him sailing three feet in the air when he hits the line.

The parental units did abandon us for 10 days in June. They said something about seeing Rio, some large waterfalls called Iguazu and the Amazon River. Heck, if they stayed home I could have peed them a nice waterfall onto the Holly out front. I even do it on Max’s head when he gets in the way. While they were away, they managed to also see the border towns in Argentina and Paraguay. Apparently there are no leash laws in those countries and people take their dogs walking everywhere. Will you help me start a fund and call it Scout, expat shiba of Brasil. I don’t think baby Max will agree to leave Mom’s side which is fine by me.

In October, Mom and Dad predictably did what they’re good at. They went away and left us for 5 days. They went across the big pond to see Dad’s side of the family in London. Grandpa went with them so he could spend time with his brother. I hear they saw Tower of London, Big Ben, Stonehenge, a castle and Harrod’s the department store among other things. They even had good home cooking every day with the extended family including indian cuisine and raclette I googled this (while Mom was at work) to know what table scraps we were robbed of. While they were abroad, we had our new dog walker, Aunty Doris, walking us in the middle of the day as well as cousin Lynn at night. She even feeds us yummy holistic food which is both wet and dry supplemented with lots of treats. So far, we haven’t gained weight, run away in protest nor gotten nice and sick on all the carpet in our new abode.

For Christmas, all we want from you is lots of visits at our new pad. I know I deserve to be petted, treated and walked more. (No, I haven’t tripped anyone this year) So y’all take a note of our new address and we’ll be pawing you real soon.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

How to get a new home....

One day, we were happy with Mr. Sunshine in our old home... We slept all day, then ran the yard all night. Then next thing you know, Mom and dad were packing up all our stuff into boxes and driving us between 2 houses.... Sure I thought it was strange that I had no couch or chair to sit on when they worked at the old house. But i thought they were buying a papasan fit for kings like me. Nooooo, they had other things in mind. They were scheming to buy me all this:

Yes, you got it right folks... we are no longer city boys!!! We now have 1 and 1/2 acres in the country. Before we sat in front of our window watching cars go by all day, people & dogs walking to bark at. Now I have a house set so far back from the road. Now we lay at the back bedroom doorwall and howl with coyotes. They look like this:

Sigh... and Max loves all the possums and rabbits that go by. In fact, he keeps me and Mom and Dad up. Yeah, I know Mom's deaf but we jump on the bed when we get excited at something outside. Once, they had doorwall open and Max pushed down the whole screen door in the night to go out and be the mighty hunter he always was. He came back smelling of eau-de-skunk for weeks. It was so funny to watch him destinking in a tomato soup bath!

And that's not all, they got me a pool! I hate water like all shibas but I love to run around the pool barking at splashing water and kids. Boy was Dad surprised the first time I ran up the ladder to run around the sides of this. He had the last laugh though... they got a solar cover they call it. It warms the water from Mr. Sunshine. I thought it was the floor and walked right out on it only to fall into, yep... nasty water. Want to see what my pool looks like? Here it is:

And.... I haven't even gotten to the best part yet!! We have a dogwalker!!! Her name is Aunty Doris and she walks us every day in our big old neighborhood. We used to go around 2 blocks in our hood but now we got a couple of miles easy. We need little backpacks to carry our water b/c we are left drinking out of puddles when we get hot. You can see our Aunty at www.auntydoris.com

Well, I got to run... Dad's jumping in the pool... He says it's 80 degrees and I want a chance to bark at the little drops of water jumping out at me!! See you around pals....