How to get sympathy

Arrrooooo Everyone!

Wow! This place is really different. Mom woke me up early today and told me I was going to get 'valued for the day instead of staying at home with Mr. Sunshine smiling on me. I was really surprised after she put her coat on and waved the black noose in front of my nose. Why would she be waving that at me when she and Daddy always leave me home on their slave days. Everybody knows they have to go conjure up piles of moola for my food and fun with human days. I don't go to work, they do. What was up?

Well, being cat-like, curiousity won out so I consented to let her put it around my neck. And off we went on the adventure. She didn't go in the direction of McDonald's. Nope, not to the ice cream place either. I saw the park whiz by too.... What's up Mom? If she was taking me to the doctor or the groomer, I was gonna be very mad and think about revenge on some more shoes or worse, purses. (shudder....)

We pulled up to a house and I hopped out at the sight of DOGS in the window waving. Now this was good. Any dogs that I can go boss around, mess with their inferiority complexes, woo girlfriends to lift up their sweet tails for me and snacks to be stolen. Man, Mom you are so thoughtful. Boy, this just made my year! Is it my birthday and someone forgot to tell me? Or Lassie the King day? I better remember to mark on the calender with my paw when I get home....

Ohhhhh.... I heard Nancy the nice lady tell Mom on the phone that I'm roaming free and playing nice. Mom just yelled "I don't believe that is Scout you are talking about!!" I guess she thought they would keep me locked up in the room with just one dog like they did this morning cuz they thought I was dog 'gressive. Ha! Have you ever seen me lift a paw to do any work, jump rope for exercise or anything remotely involving the exertion of energy ? Nope, the world revolves around Scout. People jump when I say so. So I'll bark at you later people and let you know if Mom enrolls me in this new country club she found for me.