Scout's Xmas Newsletter 2008

Hi folks from Scout, the king-sized Shiba Inu,

Another year for me to tell you about the troubles my folks get into because they don't listen to me and seek my incredible wisdom. Mom and Dad went on only one trip this year in order to save money and spend more time with Max and me. And that was to a wonderful place called Bonaire which is a small island located next to Aruba and very close to South America. It is a flat island with cacti, below-ground caves, bluffs, mangroves and salt fields in the south. Bonaire is renowned for its dive spots with more shore diving than any other caribbean island. This is why Uncle Ken and Aunt Trish own a place on it. If y'all are interested in a little house on the bay on this beautiful remote island, let mom know coz she's got the connections.

For their troubles, Dad got urchin stingers in his foot and mom got cactus spines in hers. They hobbled around the island trying to enjoy themselves. They tried to learn to dive for real and this ended with mom sinking to the bottom repeatedly because her weights were too heavy and dad rising over and over to surface because his were too light. They saw many potcake dogs, donkeys, flamingos and iguanas but couldn't bring them home for me to scare and boss around due to customs law. The little house on the bay was near some "European style" beach that dad kept wanting to go to but mom put an end to that.

Regarding my living quarters, Dad got the foyer bathroom done and boy is it beautiful… Crown molding up near the ceiling (and not on my head – why is that?), pale yellow walls and score, another toilet with nice cold water to drink out of if I get lucky. Dad also got me some slightly-used leather couches for the big living room. Max, the lazy beast, perches on top of them basting in the sun coming through the windows. I pop up my head only when I hear cars coming down the driveway. And….we got a wonderful new furnace which heats the house much better which I value greatly when I get shaved twice a year. This is due to my "horrible" fur adorning every surface. I think they should be happy with the gift I am trying to grace them with- a shiba rug!

Health-wise for the humans, mom had one surgery that went well over the summer and I am glad to report she is feeling much better. Due to Michigan's poor economy, Dad had to take a job in Toronto during the week and only comes home on weekends. Because mom has a pretty good job and since the house is in the midst of remodeling/cannot be sold, relocation to Canada isn't possible. Hopefully, things will improve and dad will be back working in the Detroit area again. Grandpa tells mom that Detroit's economy has always been up and down like this and it will get better down the potholed roads. The shiba inu puppycam fad (featured in Time magazine, Good Morning America, and other media outlets) this fall made me a VERY popular dog and everybody wants to know more about me. So why wouldn't someone want to buy a celebrity dog's house? Well, that's okay - it gives me more time to enjoy the deer, coyotes, foxes and rabbits that roam our yard. Better than Animal Planet channel any day! However, I am still mad at that pool that sits in the yard. I plunged it in its malevolent jaws twice this summer ruining my magnificent coat and swallowing the horrid water.

Max wasn't so fortunate with his health this year. My buddy's getting to be an old man at almost 9 years old. He likes to chew on rawhides and steak bones for hours. He broke a tooth in half to clear below the jaw line. No one noticed until the chews and toys started getting a funny red color to them. No sooner than that was operated on, his bursitis started bothering him. It's one front leg and they now believe he keeps re-injuring an old shoulder injury every time he jumps off of high furniture to chase me around the house. He still doesn't get the fact that I'm the boss and I let him go on being delusional. With dad gone, he has also taken to trying to being alpha. A little tibbie spaniel alpha over a shiba, hahahaha…. Mom's trying; she withholds treats and toys and says the word "No" over and over. Trust me, I have been tuning that ridiculous word out for years myself.

Well, I'll leave you with a few photos of your royal highness, his sidekick and the humans below and wish you all a very Merry Christmas!!! Things can only go uphill from here and we are wishing good fortune to all our friends in Michigan as well as those that have left or live elsewhere!

Much Love, Mom, Dad & us canines…..

My Xmas Newsletter 2007

Arrrrooooo, it’s me, Scout – the better half of the Thorniley Dogs (never mind Max)! 2007 has been an exciting year for us! Mom and Dad have been so busy that I’m quite sure they have not fulfilled their quota of long walks, table scraps, keeping Max, away from me and most of all what every mighty shiba wants: attention!

Dad has been doing his standard construction around the house. This keeps me on edge from marauding drywall dust and screeching noises from the garage. They finished the most important room in the house for me and that was food central, a kitchen with a large island and some skylights for my tanning pleasure. My friends and I enjoy gathering in the kitchen and this includes my newest canine friend, Zoha. She belongs to our neighbors, Tom and Kasia, from Poland and she only understands polish. I don’t usually like other dogs but Max and Zoha are okay unlike those monsters in my neighborhood, the two St. Bernard’s, nothing saintly about them! They dared to attack me and Zoha, frightening her for a while but I was okay.

What’s that? Did mom and dad abandon us to go gallivant around the world? Why yes, of course… They went snowmobiling in our ‘great’ state of Michigan and for the first time, the trails were covered with snow, not mud! They had to go a long way to find snow, somewhere past a bridge called Mighty Mac in a place called Muninsing. And what did they get for the long journey? While snowmobiling they ran out of gas, not once but twice. The first time, dad had to siphon gas out of his friend’s machine using his mouth. And poor mom, she almost made it to a gas station. At least she didn’t crash into any icy lakes or snow drifts like past years! I keep them telling them Max & I are good luck charms and they need to take us along. Somehow, I don’t think the Holiday Inn agrees.

Next they went south to Mexico with those crazy friends of dad’s. They rode chicken buses with the locals late at night from Playa del Carmen and took a moped around Cozumel Island. While in Cozumel, Dad fulfilled his lifelong dream of snorkeling with the Miss Universe contestants there for a pageant. Mom beat him by getting to talk to them in the buff in the changing room. They 4-wheeled through sandy jungles and mom zip-lined backwards over a lake with alligators chomping at the air below her (the poor men who had to catch her when she crashed at the other side). Dad rappelled down a cliff while mom cried in fear until she was finally thrown off, on a rope of course. And did they bring us any Taco Bell Chihuahuas to eat, you ask? Nope….

Then they took an October trip to London & Paris with Grandpa including a chunnel train ride. They saw some ancient roman ruins in a town called Bath. Bath, boy am I ever glad I didn’t make that trip… In Paris, they went to some little man - Napoleon’s resting place, a WWII museum, the train station with impressionist paintings, the Versailles palace and the Eiffel tower that’s everywhere in our house on walls. I’m not sure why they want such an eye-full. Grandpa was happy to see Paris for the first time but he was awfully tired afterwards. Max & I were just happy to have them home again but did enjoy walks 3x a day with our favorite cousin, Lynn.

Dad finished the dining & laundry rooms this fall complete with a gas fireplace and old-time hanging oil lamp. We hosted a nice thanksgiving dinner in a room big enough to allow me and Max to hang out under the table and still be able to dive for falling turkey parts. We enjoyed our dog walks too by running after rabbits. Max got hit by skunk spray a few times when he went to scrap with them. We learned what coyotes, Canadian geese, deer and groundhogs are and why we are kept locked inside from them. I fell in the pool a few times too many and refuse to sun on the pool deck anymore. Time to go make Mom walk me now! Merry, Merry Christmas to you and yours! Ho, ho, ho arrrrroooo…. Yours Truly, Scout.

Christmas letter 2006

The Howlidays are here??? Arrrrooooooo…….. What have Max and I been through this year? Tons as I will now orate.

We got to go on a family vacation which was snowmobiling in February for a week in Canada. The snow is so much deeper like 5 feet and the temperatures hover anywhere from 10 to 30 below 0 fahrenheit. We love to play in snow because we never get any back home in Michigan. No, we weren’t allowed on the snowmachines. Pout…

February was also the month Mom and Dad offered up our home to anyone who wanted to buy it. They promised us a bigger place with a large yard for us to run around in. So for 4 weeks, poor Max and I got intruders being nosy in our house. They would pet us and ask if we came with the house. Growl….. Of six viewings, mom and dad were happy that three put offers down and the house sold at asking price. We were so sad to say goodbye to our picture window with a view of a busy street. Now, we just howl and bark in the middle of the night to go out and chase deers, rabbits, groundhogs and skunks. Max loves the skunks most and I can’t count how many times he’s been sprayed. Even after three skunk baths in a row, he still smells and it lingers for months. So the corollary here must be, if it smells like a skunk, it’s a skunk. Hey Stinky, I’m telling them what you are.

Our old house was nice and quiet. Mom and Dad had finished remodeling it and everything had a place. Well, not this new one. We don’t even have a kitchen now. Dad gave away the cupboards and stove on ebay. He’s going to be jackhammering the concrete floor next to move pipes. Me and Max are going to be deaf soon like Mom. Hell, I already have selective hearing when I don’t want to come inside. The people in this hood don’t have chain link fences like the old one. Instead you get a collar put on you with a black box that scares would-be fleas off of me if I go too close to the road. I have seen a black lab, newfoundland, husky and 2 saint bernards all wearing the same collar. On my walk, all they can do is howl at me from their yards that they want to play. And you know what, it’s discrimination against dogs! I never see the any of the cats wearing these shock boxes and they come and go as they please. Wimpy Max stays in the house rather than wear one. These things send him sailing three feet in the air when he hits the line.

The parental units did abandon us for 10 days in June. They said something about seeing Rio, some large waterfalls called Iguazu and the Amazon River. Heck, if they stayed home I could have peed them a nice waterfall onto the Holly out front. I even do it on Max’s head when he gets in the way. While they were away, they managed to also see the border towns in Argentina and Paraguay. Apparently there are no leash laws in those countries and people take their dogs walking everywhere. Will you help me start a fund and call it Scout, expat shiba of Brasil. I don’t think baby Max will agree to leave Mom’s side which is fine by me.

In October, Mom and Dad predictably did what they’re good at. They went away and left us for 5 days. They went across the big pond to see Dad’s side of the family in London. Grandpa went with them so he could spend time with his brother. I hear they saw Tower of London, Big Ben, Stonehenge, a castle and Harrod’s the department store among other things. They even had good home cooking every day with the extended family including indian cuisine and raclette I googled this (while Mom was at work) to know what table scraps we were robbed of. While they were abroad, we had our new dog walker, Aunty Doris, walking us in the middle of the day as well as cousin Lynn at night. She even feeds us yummy holistic food which is both wet and dry supplemented with lots of treats. So far, we haven’t gained weight, run away in protest nor gotten nice and sick on all the carpet in our new abode.

For Christmas, all we want from you is lots of visits at our new pad. I know I deserve to be petted, treated and walked more. (No, I haven’t tripped anyone this year) So y’all take a note of our new address and we’ll be pawing you real soon.

Happy Howlidays

Hi everyone! It’s me, Scout. Mom doesn’t feel like doing the Xmas newsletter this year but Dad likes it when everyone gets one in the mail. And if Dad is happy when it done, then maybe Dad will feed me and Max at the table and take us on longer walks. Gee, maybe I’ll even get an unleashed run if I write this real good. Oh boy, what should I talk about? So much has happened. They dragged me to training class at the beginning of the year which was pointless if you get my drift. I already know sit, stay, shake paw and how to run through an agility tunnel. But the class marveled at my skills at the last class. I was the only dog to do a trick and get
applause when I got my certificate. What did I do, you ask? I walked on two legs for liver treat Dad was holding up. If only all those poor old pups knew what to do for food. I am real smart and sneaky at knowing where
it is, how to get it and make it disappear but shhhhhh…. That’s between you and me.

In March, I was taking Mom for one of her walks and here’s my first hand account to all the reporters. After Mom's fiasco at the Timmy Hort donut place in the previous days where she dinged the truck, I heard some people complaining about her driving, how she should never drive again. Yeah, Dad was chief among them and he should talk. Wanna go outside with me and I'll show you with my paw all the dings in his truck and trailer. I don't got time to worry about him right now, save for later. 'We gotta do something about the Mommy' everyone was whispering. So I thought long and hard about what I could do. So when Dad told me it was time for me to take Mom for a walk, I thought there might still be a way for me to be a superhero. Shazam!!! I started the walk out nice and normal so as to not get her suspicions up. I did my sniff, sniffs and mark, marks on the obnoxious people's bushes & trees and where stupid Poms & Yorkies dared to tread. When I looked back to see that we were out of sight from our house, coast was clear. Broke out into a trot. It's like Michigan Derby time. Run, run faster Mom! Oh goody, here comes a raised sidewalk panel, might be what she needs, Bingo! Mom
goes flying over my head….. Oh no, she was crying…. Her kneecap was exposed she ended up with 17 staples to close the skin. So I didn’t get walked for a while. I learned a good lesson from that.

Next, in May… I got a new brother. He was a very annoying, yappy dog the size of a rat. Mom went and got him to keep me company without asking me if I wanted any. Dad was working in Toronto and didn’t know about it.
When she brought him home, I didn’t know what to do with him. He was bugging me so I growled and snapped at him for a few days. Mom went back to work, I felt sorry for the beast named Max who was now afraid to
come up to me. I got used to him and it wasn’t so bad having a rat-dog around. Mom, on the other hand, had a problem with how to break the news to Dad. When he came home and heard Max from outside, he said “oh nooooo”. I tried to break out the popcorn for a good fight but my paws don't reach high enough to the microwave. And the next day, Dad was hugging Max and telling him how cute he was and he just said “no more dogs!” I think Dad lost his spine.

August 1 came and we went up to Grandpa’s house for a week. Got taken for lots of walks in the woods and
on a golf course no less! All those men hitting their sticks at balls just waved at me so I figured I must be a
celebrity. It was a real great time. I even enjoyed going out in the boat and putting my paws up at the back of the boat to bite at the water. Mom was too busy to worry that I might fall out. She had Max whimpering and crying on her lap like a baby. He didn’t like the boat. My other Grandma and Grandpa came up to stay with us for a few days and they all went to some rodeo of trucks and left us behind in the house. I guess it was in Quebec and me and Max don’t speak any french at all so we couldn’t go.

But wait, that’s not the best part yet. Mom took me alone on trip to California! Can you believe it? I got to ride on the plane at mom’s feet because she told everyone I was her helper dog. (how do I help her by begging,
running away, and be an all around nuisance?) I think she slipped me some pills disguised in peanut butter so I wouldn’t say anything to the people on the plane about what a lack of help I am. When we got to Arizona I met 2 dogs named Deaus and Sophie and their momma, Jodi. We all rode in the car together a long way to California to go sleep on the ground outside. The only thing we had for privacy were these pieces of cloth they called tents. Of course I wondered why Mom would take me all this way until I saw all the other dogs that looked like
me. What a blast! And wait there’s more, People pet me and took pictures of me. I got to go down to the lake and bite the wave bubbles. I fell in love with the little dogs that dig holes in the ground and pop up and down. They come from the prairie and I couldn’t take them home with me. I got to go on long walks with mom and also
see a real honest to god dogfight! I was crowned biggest shiba ever and the other dogs couldn’t believe how I let everyone pet me. They don’t know being handsome, big and smart (editor's note: read suck-up) are good virtues towards getting more food in your tummy. Still my secret.

And then when October came around, Mom and Dad left us alone for an entire week! They tricked us. They left after putting all their clothes in some bags and putting them in the car. Me ‘n’ Max laid down to sleep while we thought they were out slaving for our greenies. We woke up at night and went to stand at the garage door but they never came home. The nerve! Instead, our cousin named Lynn came and she brought some clothes of hers. We knocked her down running to see if Mom and Dad were behind her. In all fairness, she was rather nice and tried to get us to sleep with her at bedtime. We got to go outside to pee, got our food and wait, it gets better… walks 2x a day!! Mom sometimes doesn’t want to walk us so we are lucky if we get walks everyday. She tells Dad she is just avoiding being dragged down the sidewalk and hurting her other knee. This Lynn gal brought these sticks with her and would bang them together. She called it fiber art. What is that? Why would you do that if you
could be licking yourself instead? I know I’m a crabby dog sometimes. You try holding your pee all day and then submitting as a furry mannequin at night. I do not do soap operas, knitting or modeling --- I hunt wild prey, my true calling… Not having doggy sweaters put on me. Max, he was a total wuss. He loved it all so much that I’m thinking about entering him in a contest called “The Dog”. I think he’ll be in his glory with all that fairy dust after they put the crown on his itty bitty ears. I told him just bring back all the food that you win and if you please, our Mom and Dad.

And they did come back. They told us they went to Paris where all the dogs get to go on walks without leashes and go inside stores. People in Paris really love their dogs! Speaking of contests like I just mentioned, did I forget to tell you that not only did I get my obedience certificate, I also got famous on the internet. I was a Punk Pet for chewing all the fingers off Mom’s glove except for that certain one. I left it in front of the door for her to
see when she came home after being gone all day. I also won Dogster.com’s Diary of the Day not once, but
twice! All the accolades still don’t get me all the food I want but I am a happy shiba living with Max (tibetan
spaniel) and my Mom and Dad. We hope you had a good year too and get lots of treats under your tree. Does Santa have a dog that I can write my wish list too??

Merry Christmas from our house to yours, Scout, Max and our owners, Claude & Kristine